Am I Missing Something Here?

The routine at lower-priced, neighborhood diners:

1. Order food.
2. Receive food.
3. Waitress drops off check, usually around the time she delivers food.
4. If dessert is ordered, waitress quickly recalculates check and returns it to table.
   
5. When ready to leave, pay on the way out.

The routine at higher-priced, upscale eateries:

1. Order food.
2. Receive food.
3. Finish eating, then wait 10-15 minutes for waitperson to come by.
   
4. Waitperson asks if you'd like dessert. You say "No, I'd like the check."
5. Wait 10-15 minutes for waitperson to bring check. Waitperson says, "I'll take that up for you whenever you're ready." It doesn't occur to waitperson that you may be ready NOW. Waitperson disappears before you can tell him or her that you're ready.
6. Wait 10-15 minutes for waitperson to come for your credit card.
7. Wait 10-15 minutes for waitperson to return with your credit card and receipt.
8. Leave 40-60 minutes after you finished eating (and make sure to tip the waitperson 20%, because this is an upscale restaurant).

Is anyone else aggravated by this? If you like it better the upscale way, please tell me why. Maybe I'm missing something.

Mismatched Logos

The Dallas Cowboys logo is a star. It has nothing to do with cowboys and everything to do with the fact that the team is in Texas, the Lone Star state. But the team is not the Texans, it is the Cowboys.

Meanwhile, the Texans are a team in Houston. Their logo is a bull. That's directly related to cowboys, but certainly wouldn't be limited to Texans.

It seems to me the two teams need to switch logos. The Lone Star of Dallas sends one clear message: Texan. It should belong to the Texans. The bull of Houston has "cowboy" written all over it. It should belong to the Cowboys (and it still contains a star as a shout out to their home state).

Get Your Gray Ribbons Ready

October is pink ribbon month. It's also pink product month. Everywhere you go, pink trinkets are for sale. The promise is that for every dollar you spend, a few pennies will be given to breast cancer research. Some folks think it's a bit of overkill. But in making their point, they trivialize a birth defect which affects millions of innocent victims, including me. Listen to a typical example from Susan Reimer, writing in the Baltimore Sun: "You'd have to be colorblind not to see all the pink products."

Yes, I am colorblind--hang on a second while I get my tongue in my cheek--and I am sick and tired of people making light of this incurable congenital condition. Do you think Ms. Reimer would have written, "you'd have to be a paraplegic not to keep up with my grandmother"? How do you think such language makes us feel? We're already discriminated against. Whole career fields are closed to us, notably that of airline pilot and railroad engineer. Where are the people demanding a cure for this debilitating and heartbreaking disease? When we run red lights, do people treat us with the compassion we deserve? No! Just write 'em a ticket, Mr. Policeman, and let 'em pay the fine. And then there's the ridicule we endure when we wear mismatched clothes. Colorblindness may be the last birth defect that it is still politically correct to make fun of. Could it be that so little is allocated to colorblindness research because the overwhelming majority of victims are men? Just asking.

So, colorblind people of the world unite! We demand our own awareness month. November will be just fine. We invite you to join us. You can show your support by wearing a gray ribbon. Of course, we'll all think they're pink ribbons and accuse you of overdoing the breast cancer thing, but there's no perfect system.

Unexplained Mechanical and Electrical Healings (UMEH)

Yesterday, warning lights for the brakes and the ABS system lit up on my father-in-law's van. The power-assist function of the brakes stopped working (it was like stopping a car with the engine off). Today, while driving to the dealership, both lights went out and the braking returned to normal.

A few days ago, I unhooked the speakers from my computer to use them with a video projecter. Yesterday, I hooked them back up to my computer. They would not work. Zero. Zilch. Nada. I unhooked them and used the computer's tinny little internal speaker the rest of the day. Today, I plugged them back in and they worked perfectly.

Does anyone else out there have any accounts of UMEHs? If so, share them.

Life and Death and Family

I haven't posted in a while. Many of you know why. For the rest of you, here's the sequence of events:
Tuesday, September 18: Cheryl's Dad, Sam, has total knee replacement surgery in Lansing. Her Mom, Jane, doesn't feel well, so she stays at our house while Cheryl goes to Lansing to be with her Dad.
Wednesday, September 19: Cheryl's sister-in-law, Anne, calls to tell us that Cheryl's brother, Tim, who has been battling cancer for the past two years, isn't expected to live much longer.
Thursday, September 20: Cheryl and I and a still less-than-healthy Jane travel to Salisbury, MD to be with Tim, leaving Sam in a physical rehab facility in Lansing. We arrive two hours after Tim dies.
Friday, September 21: Jane develops an irregular heart beat and is taken by ambulance to Peninsual Regional Medical Center in Salisbury.
Saturday, September 22-Monday, September 24: The family plans Tim's funeral while taking turns sitting with Jane at the hospital. She improves markedly during the day on Sunday, but takes a turn for the worse that night.
Tuesday, September 25: Tim's funeral is just what he wanted--a time of rejoicing and celebration. We tell silly stories about Tim, watch a moving video of his life, celebrate his faith, and generally leave uplifted. Jane's condition prevents her from leaving the hospital to attend the funeral.
Wednesday, September 26: I return home, leaving Cheryl behind to attend to Jane, who is still in the hospital. Upon arriving home, I go immediately to Lansing to visit with Sam, who has been separated from all family during Tim's death and funeral.
Friday, September 28: Cheryl has decided to get an air ambulance to bring Jane back to Michigan. The doctors tell her that she would not survive the flight. In fact, they tell her that her Mom is not going to make it. I return to Lansing to tell Sam his wife is dying.
Saturday, September 29: I pick up Sam from the rehab facility at 4 a.m. and drive him to Detroit, where we board a plane for Balitmore. We rent a car for the two-hour drive to Salisbury. We arrive at the hospital about 15 minutes before Jane dies.
Sunday, October 1: Cheryl and Sam return to Michigan.
Monday, October 2: I return to Michigan. Family members, who had just returned home following Tim's funeral, make plans to converge in Lansing.
Saturday, October 6: Jane's funeral is a fitting tribute to her 82 years of love and service.
Sunday, October 7: Cheryl and Sam and I return home. Sam will be with us until his rehabilitation is far enough along that he can live on his own.

I don't share this chronology with you so you will pity us. Of course it's been hard. And I'm sure there are still lots more hard times to come. The prayers of many, many people have sustained us. Thank you, and please don't stop praying. However, I want to tell you how proud I am to be a part of this family. We pulled together, did what needed to be done, loved each other and supported each other. We've shed a lot of tears, but shared even more laughter. We found value in being together, and in accepting the pain as a necessary consequence of the closeness we've enjoyed for so long. Our faith is strong and our focus is on the journey ahead. God is good and after this season of sorrow, life will be good again.