Phishers of Men

Department of Heavenland Security
Prayer Validation Department

Dear Supplicant,

We regret to inform you that your account has been temporarily deactivated. Your prayers to the Almighty will not be acknowledged or answered until you reactivate your account using the link below. We have taken this action in response to a potential security breach. We recently learned that our arch-nemesis, B. L. Zebub, has gained unlawful access to millions of our accounts. He has been fraudulently answering our customer’s prayers, with disastrous results. In light of the potential damage, we had no choice but to suspend the prayer privileges of everyone at risk.

To reactivate your account, click the link below. Before clicking the link, make sure you have available your driver’s license, social security number, and a detailed description of your last seven sins.

www.dhs.com/prayer_validation.html

We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. A limited number of emergency prayers are still being answered on a case-by-case basis. Accordingly, we are asking you to refrain from non-emergency prayers—lottery winnings, fair weather for picnics, the Detroit Lions, etc.—until further notice.

Sincerely,
Your Prayer Validation Department Staff